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“The abuse of power occurs when we use power to gratify our own needs rather than to carry out God’s sacred trust. It happens when we refuse to own the responsibility of guardianship that comes with the privilege of power . . . until we understand that power is the responsibility to give, instead of the opportunity to take, we will continue to abuse it.” (Ann Smith, Alive Now, Sept./Oct. 1996)
Misconduct of a sexual nature within ministerial relations occurs when a person in a ministerial role fails to maintain appropriate professional boundaries with those whom we serve. Where there is trust, there is the potential to betray that trust. When a person in a ministerial role violates professional boundaries this betrayal of trust may become a powerful weapon of abuse.
When persons seek help during times of spiritual crisis, they entrust their vulnerable selves to a minister, who is expected to protect them and act in their best interests. Ministerial relationships are not mutual. When a pastor counsels a parishioner, for instance, it is the parishioner’s needs that are to be met – not the pastor’s needs. Every person in a ministerial role agrees, explicitly or implicitly, to protect and act in the best interest of others with whom we are in ministry. This fiduciary responsibility, to act in the best interest of the other, is a sacred trust.
Clear physical, psychological, and emotional boundaries enable the trust that is the foundation of effective ministry. A pastor, for example, must be clear about his or her role in the pastor – parishioner relationship. The pastoral role provides many services, including spiritual guidance, religious teaching, celebration of sacraments, and pastoral counseling. Sexual intimacy is NOT one of the services provided through the pastoral role.
Nearly every helping profession—including psychiatry, medicine, law, and teaching—has clear professional standards that prohibit sexually intimate relationships with clients. Professional standards for ministerial conduct are no different. This includes laypersons and other volunteers in ministerial roles. Most annual conferences now recognize this professional standard with clear policy statements prohibiting this kind of dual relationship. The pastor must find relationships outside of the congregation for meeting his or her personal needs.
If in doubt, persons in ministerial roles should ask themselves: Whose needs are being met in this relationship? If the answer is “my needs are being met” or “this relationship is mutually beneficial,” this should be a warning sign for potential misconduct and abuse.
REMEMBER: it is always the responsibility of the person in the ministerial role to maintain appropriate boundaries. If you are a clergyperson or other church leader who has encountered boundary violations or harassment by a layperson, here is a suggested process for re-asserting and maintaining appropriate professional boundaries
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